tree (a_theory) wrote,

I know.

I am always, always saying that I am through with him! Always! I am sick of hurting because of him. I feel like I have come so far within the past two years, specifically this past year, and he's dragging me down. I can't do that anymore. I find myself feeling guilty from talking to anyone. At all.

Kayla leaves on Saturday and I can't bear the thought of living here without here. My fear of being alone becomes worse the more I think about it. I need to get out of my head. Or even better

I need to 'get it together'.

SENIOR YEAR. Am I going to college? Where? Where will I live? How will I pay for it? Where will I work? What about my job now? I need to make myself a portfolio. I need to start thinking about the future - not relative to months, but to years, and decades. If I don't go to college, where will I work?

I would like to think I can do this by myself but I really don't know if I can. Being with Geremy is not much better than being alone. Life is fleeting and will never be perfect. But you can do your best to make it better for someone else.
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